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Monday, October 6, 2014

Some enlightening thoughts...

Ladies and Gentlemen, 

Listen up.

So this came across my heart, so I must share.

So often there are times that we are in relationships that are going nowhere. We stay in them out of fear. Fear of being alone, fear of being a failure, fear of not being able to move on. Whatever the reason, we were not blessed with the spirit of fear.

Some things are comfortable for a reason. And when we are comfortable there is no room for true growth. 

We GROW from uncomfortable situations whether you want to or not. Most people are afraid to be uncomfortable out of fear of the unknown or the outcome. 

We all want a favorable outcome to our situations, but we must remember that what we want, and what God needs from us contradicts. If we go through our uncomfortable season, we are sure to be comfortable in a more rewarding way.

Ok... Now for more....

I've had my share of relationships and I wasn't always the easiest person to get along with. I was in relationships that I really didn't want to be in. I did it because I didn't want to hurt the other person. I realized that I was hurting myself, my growth. I was comfortable. And so I suffered and in turn the relationships suffered. 

Most men will be better men when they are ready to be better men in relationships. A lot of men are still functioning on the "I still got it" attitude. So these men are always chasing women. And a lot of these men are honest in what they're doing. Meaning they are not leading women on in any way. They're letting women know upfront that they are not seeking a relationship and that whatever happens happens. 

Ladies beware of this Man. He's not playing with your emotions. He's honest. You need to pay attention to what he is saying. And don't ever think for a second that you will change his mind. Ladies ask your lady friends if they've succeeded... 90% of the time the answer is No!

Here's what I've learned. Most guys that are ready to settle down usually have a few guy friends that have settled down and they encourage they're boys to do the same.

Birds of a feather flock together!
Now this isn't 100% but the percentages are high.

So ladies, when a guy is truly looking to settle down, check his friends and ask how his friends are in their relationships.

Again it's not the rule, it's an observation based on my experience.

Q


Tuesday, September 23, 2014

My Rant!!!

I haven't ranted in a while...

Hmmmm....


You know I love looking out for the ladies when it comes to relationships.


With that being said, ladies never enter into any new relationship when there is residual love dust from a previous relationship. 


You never truly stop loving someone just because it's over. Time heals all wounds. When it's over, it needs to truly be over in your heart and in your mind. Never allow the past to handcuff your future and your progress. He is an Ex for a reason. 


Those good times never outweighed the bad ones. So stop reminiscing on those times because they will keep you blinded from all the bad he has done. 


Your heart should be your priority. If he isn't touching your heart in ways that make you melt, or that allows the queen in you to shine, then he's definitely not the one...


I understand that what one woman wants from a relationship is different than what another woman wants. However, I do believe that being loved the way you want to be should be as important to you as breathing God's air.


Choose him wisely, looks, empty words, good sex, and his money are not acceptable reasons to pick him. 

His integrity, character, willingness to allow you to be you without trying to change you (compliment each other) his understanding of you meaning during the courtship you talked about important things in your life past and present.


We've all been conditioned to accept what we get from relationships and what we give to relationships. 


CHANGE THAT CONDITION!!!


You know deep down inside what things make you happy. Bring those things to the surface and bury the dead things that have weighed you down.


I love you all...

Do better, accept better, live better and love better!


Q


Sweep up the dust from the past and throw it away

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Dial it back ladies....

A lot of women I've come across lately overthink their "situation". What I mean is, a lot of women are in a dating situation that's progressing into a possible relationship. The problem is, women you start to think, and when you start thinking, you overthink. I know you're created differently then men, but you carry a lot of what God gave men as well. You are overthinking because of the emotions you're filled with. It's not a bad thing. It's just that too much will allow you to think your way out of a good situation. 

Example: ladies you're seeing a guy that's attentive, respectful, caring, an all around good guy. He's divorced, he explained the break up. He placed blame and he took some blame for the dissolution of his marriage. An honorable  guy. Then you start to think, is he always like this, or is he treating me a special way because he's digging you? 

What does it matter? If he's like this all of the time with women, that's a damn good thing, it probably means he's had great role models growing up and his manners are apart of who he is. He does those simple things, because he knows those are important to him as well.

Guys like this, don't rush things. They enjoy the courtship. They are transparent to a point. Guys become more transparent, more comfortable the more time that is spent with you. 

Stop thinking that it's too good to be true. That's cynical thinking. Most women that think like this are alone because they are afraid to be happy and hurt at the same time.

Ladies, You can't live your life being a pessimist. Optimistic thinking will allow happiness to prevail. I want all women to achieve relationship happiness with a man that will truly give her his heart completely.

So for the ladies that have truly met a wonderful man, allow it to flow. Don't jump to conclusions if you witness a sign that resembles something from a past experience. Remember the new guy is not the old guy. He deserves a clean slate.

And one last thing...
Ladies, be ready to be in a relationship.
Don't be on the rebound.
Be sure you've taken time to be with you!
A hurt, damaged woman can't do any man any good. You will do more harm to yourself, if he turns out to be no good for you.

I'm encouraging all women to open your heart to the possibility of true happiness followed by love...

It feels so good!

Q


Saturday, August 9, 2014


If you can't share these moments as boyfriend and girlfriend, you will never share them as husband and wife. 

The spark that lights the fire in the relationship, should be the fuel to keep the fire burning. 

Continue to evolve together. You would never neglect the children you have. (At least I hope not) The attention children need is the same attention you relationship needs. Hugs, pampering each other, being attentive! (Very important)

Now before I go any further, you have to at least like your mate. Some people love their mates, but do not like the person they've become. Let's not let it get to that point.

It starts from day one. Ladies when the guy you're with right now stepped to you, what were your thoughts? Did he satisfy that thing you needed to be satisfied? 

Let me elaborate, we all have our perfect hook up scenario. Say for instance you like a guy with a great sense of humor, when he approached you did he make you smile, and was he humorous? It's important to know the the person you met and are still with, can still do those things and be the person you fell for...

More to come! 
Teaser for now...
Q

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Cuddling...

I want to share an article on cuddling with you. I posted something on Facebook a while back relating to cuddling. This article is from a Nov. 2011 issue of Shape Magazine hits it on the head. 


"Next time your guy gets on your case about cuddle time—he says he's too hot, needs his space, doesn't feel like relaxing—present the evidence. Research suggests that there's more to cuddling than meets the eye. Lovey-dovey'ness aside, the health benefits of cuddling will surely convince him to make time for it.

Reason 1: It Feels Good
Cuddling releases oxytocin, which is also known as the feel-good hormone. "It increases overall happiness," says psychologist, physical therapist, and author of bestseller A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness Elizabeth Lombardo.

"Cuddling, holding, and sexual play releases chemicals, like oxytocin, in the brain that create a sense of well-being and happiness," says Dr. Renee Horowitz, an ob-gyn who recently opened the Center for Sexual Wellness in Farmington Hills, Michigan.

Cuddling can also release endorphins, which is the chemical released after a good workout or when you eat chocolate, Horowitz adds, which contributes to that great feeling.

Reason 2: It Makes You Feel Sexy
The most obvious benefit to cuddling is getting close to your partner in the physical sense. Cuddling can lead to fun sexy time or relaxing and loving time post sexual intercourse, but there's also a chemical plus.

"There is also the release of dopamine, which is an excitatory hormone that increases sexual desire," Horowitz says. Plus, studies show that sex is healthy for fitness and mental reasons, too. So it's a win-win.

Reason 3: It Reduces Stress and Blood Pressure
Stress management coach and holistic therapist Catherine A. Connors reminds how physical contact with others can help to reduce stress. "Hugging, kissing, or more physical acts of touch increases oxytocin levels, which is a 'bonding' hormone—this chemical reaction can help to reduce blood pressure, which in turn reduces the risk of heart disease, but it can also help to reduce stress and anxiety," Connors says.

Reason 4: It Bonds Women with Babies and Partners
According to Dr. Fran Walfish, celebrity doctor and author, cuddling is healthy for people because of the obvious factor of emotional attachment. "Oxytocin is a neuropeptide that is closely linked to childbirth and breastfeeding, and a recent study shows that it has a biological role in bonding between mother and baby," she says. "The study, led by Lane Strathearn, an assistant professor of pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine, shows that women raised with insecure attachment themselves are more likely to have difficulty forming secure attachments with their children (and partners)."

It's healthy to want to be close. "Too little or too much is not good. Observe and explore your own personal comfort zone. You will be a better communicator with your partner on how much feels good and when it gets too close for comfort," Walfish says. "Your goal is to find a balance between your comfort zone and needs along with your partner's.

Reason 5: It Helps You Communicate Better
According to David Klow, a marriage and family therapist in Chicago who works with many couples on how to improve intimacy in their lives, reminds us of one great benefit of cuddling and non-erotic physical touch. Most couples in marital therapy complain about communication issues, Klow says. "Most people want to feel understood, and communication is the vehicle by which they transmit understanding and empathy. Non-verbal communication can be a very powerful way to say to your partner, ‘I get you,'" he says. "Cuddling is a way of saying, ‘I know how you feel.' It allows us to feel known by our partner in ways that words can't convey."

Klow suggests thinking of cuddling as a form of communication that can help couples have a more rich relationship."

Thursday, July 3, 2014

It's that time of year, Yes!

We are at the same point where we were at the beginning of the New Year, which is the reason why New Years resolutions don't work!
However, it's never too late to start thinking about your fitness. Let's do it. Eating healthier, exercise and and lifestyle changes are key to optimal health and wellness. It keeps the risk of declining health and developing debilitating diseases from creeping into your system.

It's a challenge! Let's do this!!!!

God bless us all
QSBC

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Good Man, Good Woman...who determines this?

As I'm browsing some Facebook posts, I came across a meme that read and I'm paraphrasing, "treating a good woman good doesn't mean you're whipped, it means you're a man".

My question is who determines this?

My answer is as follows: in reference to the meme, the man or woman involved in this relationship have to determine this. If his definition of a good woman is based on who she is completely is one thing, however,he may separate parts of her and that may give him his definition of whether she's good or not.

It could be a younger man that may think that just because the sex was good she may feel she deserves special treatment. So he may not treat her the way she feels she should be.

And that may not be close to what she's thinking.

You may think you're a good person with values and morals, but most people want more. They want someone they can grow with and someone that isn't satisfied by the status quo. The same routine. No goals, no desire to do better, conceded that they are who they're gonna be and this is their destiny. No one should want that, and having morals and values are great, but you will get what you present.

Defining what a good man or good woman is an individual interpretation. What's good for me may not be for someone else.

Being treated a certain way just because you feel you are a good man or woman may not even factor into why the person is with you to begin with. A man may be with a woman for his benefit, ie. sex, being taken care of, having a place to lay up and other things. Most being all bad and selfish on his part, but most women that fall into this were snake charmed or pied pipered. He said what you wanted to here and now you're getting to see him for who he is. 

Listen, ask questions, if he answers, good. Ask him the same question again in a different way. And allow him to ramble. He won't recognize your "goodness" if you've given away your goods too soon.

I can go on, but like my son says when he's done eating something, "I'm gonna save some for later".

But before I go, here is my definition of a good woman:

Strong willed, independent, ambitious, goal oriented, always looking to improve herself as a wife, mother, friend and in life as a whole. She's nuturing, educated and intelligent. She practices common sense. She is submissive according to the word of God. She understand that her man(husband) leads and she doesn't worry about it. She understands that her husband comes before everything except God. She is supportive, compromising and all of these things are who she is. It's not forced.

There's probably more, but these are qualities of MY Good Woman.

Remember SLAM.tv is coming to a Podcast near you...

Love and God Bless us all.
QSBC