Saturday, August 9, 2014

If you can't share these moments as boyfriend and girlfriend, you will never share them as husband and wife. 

The spark that lights the fire in the relationship, should be the fuel to keep the fire burning. 

Continue to evolve together. You would never neglect the children you have. (At least I hope not) The attention children need is the same attention you relationship needs. Hugs, pampering each other, being attentive! (Very important)

Now before I go any further, you have to at least like your mate. Some people love their mates, but do not like the person they've become. Let's not let it get to that point.

It starts from day one. Ladies when the guy you're with right now stepped to you, what were your thoughts? Did he satisfy that thing you needed to be satisfied? 

Let me elaborate, we all have our perfect hook up scenario. Say for instance you like a guy with a great sense of humor, when he approached you did he make you smile, and was he humorous? It's important to know the the person you met and are still with, can still do those things and be the person you fell for...

More to come! 
Teaser for now...

Thursday, July 10, 2014


I want to share an article on cuddling with you. I posted something on Facebook a while back relating to cuddling. This article is from a Nov. 2011 issue of Shape Magazine hits it on the head. 

"Next time your guy gets on your case about cuddle time—he says he's too hot, needs his space, doesn't feel like relaxing—present the evidence. Research suggests that there's more to cuddling than meets the eye. Lovey-dovey'ness aside, the health benefits of cuddling will surely convince him to make time for it.

Reason 1: It Feels Good
Cuddling releases oxytocin, which is also known as the feel-good hormone. "It increases overall happiness," says psychologist, physical therapist, and author of bestseller A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness Elizabeth Lombardo.

"Cuddling, holding, and sexual play releases chemicals, like oxytocin, in the brain that create a sense of well-being and happiness," says Dr. Renee Horowitz, an ob-gyn who recently opened the Center for Sexual Wellness in Farmington Hills, Michigan.

Cuddling can also release endorphins, which is the chemical released after a good workout or when you eat chocolate, Horowitz adds, which contributes to that great feeling.

Reason 2: It Makes You Feel Sexy
The most obvious benefit to cuddling is getting close to your partner in the physical sense. Cuddling can lead to fun sexy time or relaxing and loving time post sexual intercourse, but there's also a chemical plus.

"There is also the release of dopamine, which is an excitatory hormone that increases sexual desire," Horowitz says. Plus, studies show that sex is healthy for fitness and mental reasons, too. So it's a win-win.

Reason 3: It Reduces Stress and Blood Pressure
Stress management coach and holistic therapist Catherine A. Connors reminds how physical contact with others can help to reduce stress. "Hugging, kissing, or more physical acts of touch increases oxytocin levels, which is a 'bonding' hormone—this chemical reaction can help to reduce blood pressure, which in turn reduces the risk of heart disease, but it can also help to reduce stress and anxiety," Connors says.

Reason 4: It Bonds Women with Babies and Partners
According to Dr. Fran Walfish, celebrity doctor and author, cuddling is healthy for people because of the obvious factor of emotional attachment. "Oxytocin is a neuropeptide that is closely linked to childbirth and breastfeeding, and a recent study shows that it has a biological role in bonding between mother and baby," she says. "The study, led by Lane Strathearn, an assistant professor of pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine, shows that women raised with insecure attachment themselves are more likely to have difficulty forming secure attachments with their children (and partners)."

It's healthy to want to be close. "Too little or too much is not good. Observe and explore your own personal comfort zone. You will be a better communicator with your partner on how much feels good and when it gets too close for comfort," Walfish says. "Your goal is to find a balance between your comfort zone and needs along with your partner's.

Reason 5: It Helps You Communicate Better
According to David Klow, a marriage and family therapist in Chicago who works with many couples on how to improve intimacy in their lives, reminds us of one great benefit of cuddling and non-erotic physical touch. Most couples in marital therapy complain about communication issues, Klow says. "Most people want to feel understood, and communication is the vehicle by which they transmit understanding and empathy. Non-verbal communication can be a very powerful way to say to your partner, ‘I get you,'" he says. "Cuddling is a way of saying, ‘I know how you feel.' It allows us to feel known by our partner in ways that words can't convey."

Klow suggests thinking of cuddling as a form of communication that can help couples have a more rich relationship."

Thursday, July 3, 2014

It's that time of year, Yes!

We are at the same point where we were at the beginning of the New Year, which is the reason why New Years resolutions don't work!
However, it's never too late to start thinking about your fitness. Let's do it. Eating healthier, exercise and and lifestyle changes are key to optimal health and wellness. It keeps the risk of declining health and developing debilitating diseases from creeping into your system.

It's a challenge! Let's do this!!!!

God bless us all

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Good Man, Good Woman...who determines this?

As I'm browsing some Facebook posts, I came across a meme that read and I'm paraphrasing, "treating a good woman good doesn't mean you're whipped, it means you're a man".

My question is who determines this?

My answer is as follows: in reference to the meme, the man or woman involved in this relationship have to determine this. If his definition of a good woman is based on who she is completely is one thing, however,he may separate parts of her and that may give him his definition of whether she's good or not.

It could be a younger man that may think that just because the sex was good she may feel she deserves special treatment. So he may not treat her the way she feels she should be.

And that may not be close to what she's thinking.

You may think you're a good person with values and morals, but most people want more. They want someone they can grow with and someone that isn't satisfied by the status quo. The same routine. No goals, no desire to do better, conceded that they are who they're gonna be and this is their destiny. No one should want that, and having morals and values are great, but you will get what you present.

Defining what a good man or good woman is an individual interpretation. What's good for me may not be for someone else.

Being treated a certain way just because you feel you are a good man or woman may not even factor into why the person is with you to begin with. A man may be with a woman for his benefit, ie. sex, being taken care of, having a place to lay up and other things. Most being all bad and selfish on his part, but most women that fall into this were snake charmed or pied pipered. He said what you wanted to here and now you're getting to see him for who he is. 

Listen, ask questions, if he answers, good. Ask him the same question again in a different way. And allow him to ramble. He won't recognize your "goodness" if you've given away your goods too soon.

I can go on, but like my son says when he's done eating something, "I'm gonna save some for later".

But before I go, here is my definition of a good woman:

Strong willed, independent, ambitious, goal oriented, always looking to improve herself as a wife, mother, friend and in life as a whole. She's nuturing, educated and intelligent. She practices common sense. She is submissive according to the word of God. She understand that her man(husband) leads and she doesn't worry about it. She understands that her husband comes before everything except God. She is supportive, compromising and all of these things are who she is. It's not forced.

There's probably more, but these are qualities of MY Good Woman.

Remember is coming to a Podcast near you...

Love and God Bless us all.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Online Radio Broadcast/Podcast Launch

Hello ladies, I'm a little closer to launching my online radio broadcast/Podcast. "Speak Like A Man" (SLAM) Realationships talk with Qevyn SugaBear Carter.

It's going to start out as 30 minute show. Still working the kinks out. And eventually it will be an hour long show dedicated to relationships topics. From an evolved man's perspective, Mine.

For those of you that have had the opportunity to talk to me, know that I love relationships progress.
For those of you that haven't had the chance to talk to me, this will be an experience you will want to share with others.

This is an exciting time for me. It is one step closer to my goals being accomplished. If I can help one couple or someone's potential mate see another point of view, and ultimately bring a closeness to their relationship or prospective relationship, and give an encouraging word to step away from an unhealthy relationship, I will have accomplished my goal.

So stay tuned... More info about topic submissions, call in questions, recorded interviews, and booking info. I'm available for small group discussions.

I'm looking for a some guest co-hosts. I will be recording shows on location when I travel. So if you ladies are interested in co hosting or being a guest on my show, leave a message.

FYI, this is not a show to bash men. It's to give ladies some insight on men, and explain the reasons why we function the way we do.

I look forward to sharing and being a small part of your lives.
Love you, and God Bless you


Friday, May 23, 2014

Read if you dare...

Hello Family!

There are a few things that are bothering me...And Yes! It has to do with women and men forcing relationships that are volatile.

Here's the scenario:

A lady in her thirties is getting married.... Hip, hip, hooray!!!!


She is controlling, threatening and believes that because she the bread winner and feels she should call the shots. Crazy! Her man is a weak one, Because he allows her to talk to him any kind of way. He sits there and takes it.

She calls him weak, and he says nothing. He doesn't want to upset her so he does whatever she says. Yet, they still want to marry each other. Crazy!

They plan the wedding... Wait! She plans the wedding, he just needs to show up. He's careless with money, and he omits. Not lie, but similar. (That behavior is not good. Omission is concealing truth, by not saying anything. In a relationship, that can't happen). 

Her previous boyfriend was abusive, and not saying she wasn't a victim, but the way she talks to her future husband may have been the reason her ex hit her. Ladies, and Gentleman you have No right to put your hands on your mate, so if you are aggressive and he or she fights back and knocks you down, it's self defense. I would never put my hands on any woman, but I won't be with a woman that provokes bad intentions. Some women feel that if he's not fighting back, he's weak or doesn't love her enough to hit back. Again CRAZY!!!!

Well the reason for my rant: 

Ladies, I he's not performing or being the man that you want him to be, you have to move on or accept who he is (which is the reason why men courting women works more often than not. He's showing you who he is. And when he isn't, you get frustrated.

Oh and another thing, women don't force your child or children on your mate, especially if he has no kids of his own. He may not know how to interact, and you forcing him to do that WILL cause problems. You don't want your child with someone you have to force to play with or bond with do you? So stop that psycho behavior. He's gonna do what he feels he should, stop forcing him to do things. 

And you wonder why you have difficulty in relationships. You can't fix anyone but yourself. You can try to encourage, inspire, motivate, but if he's not responding you can't make him. 

I'm gonna write a book,

Titled: Women do the darnedest things

Fix yourself before you even think about trying to fix someone else. Because when you put all your energy into fixing him, you may be fixing him for the next lady!

Love always,


Sunday, May 18, 2014

We must do better in love and relationships!

My thought for the day:

Think about this for a sec, what if the things you do to your mate affected someone that is near and dear to you? Not just anybody. Someone that if something bad was to happen to them you'd be a wreck. 

Would you still continue the behavior?

Example: men if you cheated on your wife or fiancée, and your daughter, mom or sister that are happily married got cheated on as a result of your action would you stop?

Or are you so selfish that your answer to everything is, "you live your life and I live mine".

I encourage men and women to do better in life and in love, you never know who's paying attention to you and your behavior.