Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Check Out My SLAM! Speak Like A Man Podcast

I've been on a little Hiatus. I've been busy trying to get this Podcast up and running. I've finally succeeded in putting together a decent broadcast. You can check out my podcast right here on my blog, just click the SLAM! tab next to Q's Blog at the top of the page. You can also go to iTunes and Stitcher and subscribe to my podcast. Last but not least, you can visit the actual Podcast/Blog page at

I look forward to hearing some feedback and feel free to send me suggestions on topics I should touch on. 

Remember my podcast/blogs are geared toward helping WOMEN better understand MEN.
I speak from the heart, no sugar-coating, no protecting "Guy Code" I will give it to you raw.


"Keep God first, follow your instincts, and allow foolishness to pass you by"
Qevyn SugaBear Carter

Monday, October 6, 2014

Some enlightening thoughts...

Ladies and Gentlemen, 

Listen up.

So this came across my heart, so I must share.

So often there are times that we are in relationships that are going nowhere. We stay in them out of fear. Fear of being alone, fear of being a failure, fear of not being able to move on. Whatever the reason, we were not blessed with the spirit of fear.

Some things are comfortable for a reason. And when we are comfortable there is no room for true growth. 

We GROW from uncomfortable situations whether you want to or not. Most people are afraid to be uncomfortable out of fear of the unknown or the outcome. 

We all want a favorable outcome to our situations, but we must remember that what we want, and what God needs from us contradicts. If we go through our uncomfortable season, we are sure to be comfortable in a more rewarding way.

Ok... Now for more....

I've had my share of relationships and I wasn't always the easiest person to get along with. I was in relationships that I really didn't want to be in. I did it because I didn't want to hurt the other person. I realized that I was hurting myself, my growth. I was comfortable. And so I suffered and in turn the relationships suffered. 

Most men will be better men when they are ready to be better men in relationships. A lot of men are still functioning on the "I still got it" attitude. So these men are always chasing women. And a lot of these men are honest in what they're doing. Meaning they are not leading women on in any way. They're letting women know upfront that they are not seeking a relationship and that whatever happens happens. 

Ladies beware of this Man. He's not playing with your emotions. He's honest. You need to pay attention to what he is saying. And don't ever think for a second that you will change his mind. Ladies ask your lady friends if they've succeeded... 90% of the time the answer is No!

Here's what I've learned. Most guys that are ready to settle down usually have a few guy friends that have settled down and they encourage they're boys to do the same.

Birds of a feather flock together!
Now this isn't 100% but the percentages are high.

So ladies, when a guy is truly looking to settle down, check his friends and ask how his friends are in their relationships.

Again it's not the rule, it's an observation based on my experience.


Tuesday, September 23, 2014

My Rant!!!

I haven't ranted in a while...


You know I love looking out for the ladies when it comes to relationships.

With that being said, ladies never enter into any new relationship when there is residual love dust from a previous relationship. 

You never truly stop loving someone just because it's over. Time heals all wounds. When it's over, it needs to truly be over in your heart and in your mind. Never allow the past to handcuff your future and your progress. He is an Ex for a reason. 

Those good times never outweighed the bad ones. So stop reminiscing on those times because they will keep you blinded from all the bad he has done. 

Your heart should be your priority. If he isn't touching your heart in ways that make you melt, or that allows the queen in you to shine, then he's definitely not the one...

I understand that what one woman wants from a relationship is different than what another woman wants. However, I do believe that being loved the way you want to be should be as important to you as breathing God's air.

Choose him wisely, looks, empty words, good sex, and his money are not acceptable reasons to pick him. 

His integrity, character, willingness to allow you to be you without trying to change you (compliment each other) his understanding of you meaning during the courtship you talked about important things in your life past and present.

We've all been conditioned to accept what we get from relationships and what we give to relationships. 


You know deep down inside what things make you happy. Bring those things to the surface and bury the dead things that have weighed you down.

I love you all...

Do better, accept better, live better and love better!


Sweep up the dust from the past and throw it away

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Dial it back ladies....

A lot of women I've come across lately overthink their "situation". What I mean is, a lot of women are in a dating situation that's progressing into a possible relationship. The problem is, women you start to think, and when you start thinking, you overthink. I know you're created differently then men, but you carry a lot of what God gave men as well. You are overthinking because of the emotions you're filled with. It's not a bad thing. It's just that too much will allow you to think your way out of a good situation. 

Example: ladies you're seeing a guy that's attentive, respectful, caring, an all around good guy. He's divorced, he explained the break up. He placed blame and he took some blame for the dissolution of his marriage. An honorable  guy. Then you start to think, is he always like this, or is he treating me a special way because he's digging you? 

What does it matter? If he's like this all of the time with women, that's a damn good thing, it probably means he's had great role models growing up and his manners are apart of who he is. He does those simple things, because he knows those are important to him as well.

Guys like this, don't rush things. They enjoy the courtship. They are transparent to a point. Guys become more transparent, more comfortable the more time that is spent with you. 

Stop thinking that it's too good to be true. That's cynical thinking. Most women that think like this are alone because they are afraid to be happy and hurt at the same time.

Ladies, You can't live your life being a pessimist. Optimistic thinking will allow happiness to prevail. I want all women to achieve relationship happiness with a man that will truly give her his heart completely.

So for the ladies that have truly met a wonderful man, allow it to flow. Don't jump to conclusions if you witness a sign that resembles something from a past experience. Remember the new guy is not the old guy. He deserves a clean slate.

And one last thing...
Ladies, be ready to be in a relationship.
Don't be on the rebound.
Be sure you've taken time to be with you!
A hurt, damaged woman can't do any man any good. You will do more harm to yourself, if he turns out to be no good for you.

I'm encouraging all women to open your heart to the possibility of true happiness followed by love...

It feels so good!


Saturday, August 9, 2014

If you can't share these moments as boyfriend and girlfriend, you will never share them as husband and wife. 

The spark that lights the fire in the relationship, should be the fuel to keep the fire burning. 

Continue to evolve together. You would never neglect the children you have. (At least I hope not) The attention children need is the same attention you relationship needs. Hugs, pampering each other, being attentive! (Very important)

Now before I go any further, you have to at least like your mate. Some people love their mates, but do not like the person they've become. Let's not let it get to that point.

It starts from day one. Ladies when the guy you're with right now stepped to you, what were your thoughts? Did he satisfy that thing you needed to be satisfied? 

Let me elaborate, we all have our perfect hook up scenario. Say for instance you like a guy with a great sense of humor, when he approached you did he make you smile, and was he humorous? It's important to know the the person you met and are still with, can still do those things and be the person you fell for...

More to come! 
Teaser for now...